In an instant.

It’s so completely flabbergasting to me how life can change in literally the blink of an eye.  One phone call can take your breath away, good or bad.  One second or one inch can mean life or death.  All in an instant.

A few things have happened – devastating things – to people I know in the last couple weeks and it has made me take a step back in trying to sort through these things.  One second and standing in the wrong place, caused a friend of mine to receive a blow directly to the face by a horses powerful kick.  She spent four days in the ICU in critical condition, having at least four reconstructive surgeries, including a metal plate put in her cheek.  That week she caught an infection in her eye and had to have it removed.  Yes, removed.  In an instant.  Her life went from the most routine schedule of anyone I know to having to familiarize herself with a world she has never known.

Yesterday, my best friends’ dad passed away.  Suddenly.  Very Suddenly.  And in that instant, from that one phone call, her entire life changed.  And my heart aches for her and her family, and the pain they are in trying to make sense of this whole thing.

I’ve also been reading this unbelievable blog called “Matt, Liz and Madeline – life and death. all in a 27-hour period. what you read here is what follows.”  He writes a magnificent real life account of going from a happy couple about to have their first child, to becoming a widow and a single father – in an instant.  (I dare you not to cry)

These are some things that have made me step back.  They’re the things that make it easier to let the “small stuff” slide and not think twice about.  In a way, these are the reasons I am a patient driver, don’t yell at my dog, tell my parents and friends I love them almost every single day, tell my boyfriend how much I love and appreciate him on a daily basis and why our fights are limited to the important things, not the small insignificant things.  I want to be able to look back at everything and think that in my instant, whether good or bad, I want to appreciate the things that got me there and hope that what I have surrounded myself and done in my life will give me the strength to continue on, no matter what happens. 

It’s why I’ve been readjusting my self from being anxious, worried and stressed (to me these are all different things) to not focusing on everything I have no control over, starting to do things for me and getting over the fact that I attend an unusual amount of weddings.  I want to make sure that I’m living my life to the fullest so that in my instant, I can look back and know that I did things that were well thought out, on a whim, just for fun, out of true love, or just because.

I’m not saying I plan on dying, or think about it every day.  Because I don’t.  But switching gears has allowed me to do things I enjoy, and letting go of huge chunks of “small stuff” that were unneccasarily weighing me down.  And I’m certainly not saying that if any of the above things happened to me I would be easily able to get thru it, because I wouldn’t.  I would be devastated, and feel like the world was taken from right out beneath me.  But my hope is that when faced with “an instant” I will eventually be able to come back out on top, with the support of the people and life around me. 

I guess I’m just saying to take a step back every now and again, to slow down and realize who and what surrounds you and enjoy it.  Tell people you appreciate them, tell people you love them, take time for yourself, take time out for others.  Because you never know when an instant will change it.